{Two Months}

I can't believe it has been two whole months since Charlotte invaded out hearts. Actually, it's been over two months, this mama just hasn't been able to find the time to write between going back to work, house work, etc. We are loving our sweet girl more and more each day. I mean, it's not that we didn't like her before, but let's be real people, having a newborn is hard!

Here is an update on the two month old happs of Miss Charlotte Mae:

• We kind of ditched cry it out (you won, Charlotte), but we still put you down for naps and for bedtime when you're not 100% asleep. We don't let you cry longer than 5-10 minutes (lucky goose) and we usually don't have to, because you find your thumb! You LOVE to suck your thumb. You started sucking your fingers at six weeks, but now you have mastered the skill of finding your thumb (usually your left hand). Sometimes, it still takes you a little while to find it and it's the most hilarious thing to hear you looking for it.You sound like a little piggy as you chew on your hand before finally finding your favorite digit. Your granny used to suck her thumb when she was a sweet babe, too!

• You weren't too sure about your swing at first, but the second you get a little sleepy, we put you in your swing and you drift off for a peaceful nap to dream about milk and puppies. We are so glad you like your swing, because it allows Mom and Dad to have a nice meal together at the table (don't feel neglected, we're actually talking about you 99.9% of the time).

• You still like being swaddled, but only beneath the arms. This way, you can have your hands free to do some thumb sucking or fly them high above your head like you usually do:

• You love Thursdays with your daddy. He reads Lonesome Dove to you and takes you on brisk walks around the park. He even picks out your cute outfit for the day! Mommy misses you while she's gone, but she knows you're having a good time with your number one boy. Here he is reading you Curious George Goes to the Library:

• You are a clock. You eat within half an hour of your scheduled time each day. It's amazing. I think you like the predictability of your day (sounds like me) because you are sure happy before and after eating. The downside is, your dad and I lose some flexibility because your feedings and sleep schedules are so structured. But, overall, we kind of prefer this.

• You sleep like a champ. Don't tell your friend's mothers I said that, but it's true! Sure, you'll have the occassional night where you're restless and don't go to sleep until 11:00 p.m., but that's pretty uncharacteristic of you. You usually go to bed between 8:30-9:30 p.m. and sleep until 5:00 a.m. (sometimes later). We really think this can be attributed to your consistent eating, awake time and sleeping schedule (taught by Dr. Ezzo). You are such a happy smiley baby and we know a lot of this is because you are well rested.

• You love your daddy and your daddy loves you. He scoops you up in his big arms and you nestle right into his strong chest. As he's holding you, you often grab tightly to the collar of his shirt. And when he feeds you your bottle at nighttime, you wrap your entire hand around one of his fingers. Sometimes, when you're crying and upset, your dad comes over and tells mom, "let me try," and the moment you are clutched tightly by your dad, you calm down. This might make some moms sad, but I am so incredibly thankful for your dad. I'm glad that he has powers over you that I don't. It's what makes him "Dad."

• This month, you battled a nasty diaper rash. You had four ugly raw patches of skin and your parents were very worried. We had to use paper towels to wipe your bottom for two weeks (now that's love) until you got better. Thankfully, our lovely nurse practitioner friend, Megan, gave us some Resinol to help heal your cracked skin. The Resinol worked wonders! Now that you're all healed up, we use Triple Paste diaper rash cream. It goes on nice and thick and sticks to your booty through wet and poopy diapers way better than any other cream we tried (you can buy a huge tub of Triple Paste for $19.99 at Walgreens).

• You decided you like your bouncy chair that your "Aunt Casie" got for you. You hated it the first few times we tried it, but now you like to sit in it in the kitchen while Mommy cooks.

• The biggest win that happened this month was you are finally big enough to cruise around in your front baby backpack. This makes Sunday mornings WAY easier on Mom, because she can carry you all around while she works. It makes the grocery store a lot easier too, because you're car seat takes up a lot of room in the cart (like all of it).

• The BEST part about two months old is that you are smiling. I can't describe how wonderful this is, so I'm just going to show you:

Parent Bootcamp

I knew I would experience new emotions as a first time mom, but I had no idea how many feelings would come along with the elated highs and engulfing feelings of love. We’ve been practicing the principles of Baby Wise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep by Gary Ezzo, M.A. and Robert Bucknam, M. D., and on Charlotte’s one month birthday, Tyler and I decided to go by the book and allow her to cry before naps and bedtime. Our desire is for Charlotte to learn how to self-soothe so that she can sleep on her own and not be dependent on me lulling her to sleep by one of my many methods: walking her up and down the hallway, rocking her in her glider, swaying her outside to the cicada’s tune, leaning my body against the dryer while it’s running.

I hate to sound overdramatic by saying “this is the hardest thing I’ve ever done” but “THIS IS THE HARDEST THING I’VE EVER DONE.” Forget labor. Labor was a breeze compared to hearing Charlotte cry (hyperbole y’all).

We waited to let Charlie cry it out (CIO) until a day when Tyler was home. I’m so thankful we did this, because I would not have survived on my own. Ty is so good at calming me down when I’m frustrated or upset. As she cried, he calmly kept reminding me that it was for the best and that Charlotte is perfectly fine and she knows we love her. As she wailed, we paced from one end of our 900 sq. foot house to the other, looking at the clock. Each minute felt like an eternity. As she cried, we read and reread the chapter titled “When Your Baby Cries,” highlighting the reason and benefits of what we’re doing, hoping that our studies will make it easier. It doesn’t. Callie the Cat is even sitting by the door, looking at us, then back at the door thinking, “Why aren’t these people doing anything about this?” Tyler and I hug in the hallway. I cried. Here is our perfect, month old, nine pound, dark-haired, precious babe, screaming her little guts out and we have the ability to go try and console her, but chose not to. Who does this Ezzo chump think he is!?

Seventy minutes later (I count in minutes rather than hours in effort to make myself feel better), after several failed attempts to calm her – patting her belly, telling her I love her, trying to give her a pacifier, checking her diaper, she wins. Momma goes in. I scoop her over-heated body up and place her vertically against my chest. I can feel her tiny wet tears as I cradle her tiny head in the palm of my hand. Her body shivers. Her lip quivers. A few seconds pass before she’s willing to trust my whisper, “Momma’s here, Sweet Charlotte.” Finally convinced that I won’t put her back down, her petite frame goes limp.

The battle is over.

Charlotte =  1

Parents =  -100,000

We’re on Day Five of CIO. She is the perfect little angel and she loves nap time and goes right to sleep. It is still so very, very difficult. But I do think it’s getting better. I feel like I do a good job of interpreting when she’s getting sleepy and ready for a nap, so that I can put her down at just the right time. She doesn’t cry for an hour and the pitch of her cry has gotten softer. Some naps, she looks all around at the walls of her cute bedroom before fading into sleep. And three out of the past four nights, she’s slept six hours straight.

Perseverance.
Patience.
Prayer.
Progress!

{One Month}

Today, Charlotte Mae turned one month old. Holy mackerel! Sweet Charlotte, here are some highlights of your first month of existence:

• You were born on a Tuesday night and we left the hospital right after your Thursday morning check-up. Then, we had your first pediatrician visit on Friday, July 22nd, where you lost 4 ounces in weight and grew ½ and inch (every girls dream), weighing in at 7 lbs 2 oz and 19 inches tall. Just perfect!

• Your granny and grandpa drove all the way from San Antonio, TX to meet you. You timed your arrival perfectly, because they got to Champaign six hours before you were born. Way to go, girl!

• Your daddy had to leave on a week long trip when you were just five days old. He really missed you while he was gone, but we sent him lots of pictures. Granny and Grandpa stayed over a week and did an excellent job taking care of us while dad was gone.

• You had lots of visitors your first and second week of life. Friends from First Christian Church brought you loads and loads of gifts – diapers, blankets, onesies, dresses and stuffed animals galore! Some of them even brought Mommy and Daddy supper. It’s like Thanksgiving three nights a week at the Stewart house. Seriously, someone come over and help us eat all of this delicious food. Mmm Mmm!

• Your best friends, Bo and Abe, made you a really beautiful “Welcome Home” sign. They like getting to touch your toes and are always asking if they can hold you, even though your mommy and their mommy say, “no.”

• Charlotte, if there were an Olympic hiccupping event, you would take gold. You always those nasty hiccups at the most inopportune times – right before drifting to sleep or right before you’re getting ready to eat. They make no sense to me. I can’t figure out why you get them so frequently? You look so miserable when you get them and there’s nothing Momma can do about it. So sorry, Charlotte.

• When you were 2 ½ weeks old, you had four really bad afternoon/evenings in a row where you would cry from your late afternoon feeding until Mom and Dad could finally console you enough to sleep. It was horrible! We were so worried and scared, because one Saturday night you cried from 7:00 p.m. to 2:00 a.m. – seven hours! You didn’t have a temperature, but something was definitely wrong. The next morning, Mom called the pediatrician, crying, and found out that your diet needed to change - no more breast milk bottles and formula bottles. We changed your diet to a special lactose-free formula and your tummy loves it! You guzzle that bottle down in no time! Speaking of “guzzle,” filling you up with super special lactose-free formula is kind of like filling up our car with gas – gas is $3.68/gallon and your food is $3.68/bottle. Okay, it's not that bad. But seriously, does anyone have any Enfamil coupons? Gee whiz.

• We’re not quite sure who you look like, yet. I think you have your dad’s round face and eyebrow structure, but you have big eyes like your momma did when she was a baby. And I think you may have your Great Grandma Margaret’s mouth with those cute pouty lips. But for now, you just look like our little Charlie Bug.

• You hate putting on clothes and you put up quite the fight. I think there’s something about pulling the onesie down over your head that reminds you of your entrance into this world. If that’s why you hate getting dressed, then I hate it too.

• We are so glad that you’re such a good little eater. You’ve gotten in a routine of eating every 3 hours during the day. After you eat, you have about 30-45 minutes of “awake time” where Mom talks to you on the couch or you swing in your swing or we go for a walk around Centennial Park. You really enjoy awake time and Mommy does too! She can’t wait until you smile and giggle at her, because she thinks she’s pretty darn funny.

• Mommy and Daddy love taking you on walks. It’s our favorite time of the day, because we get to talk to each other while we admire how stinkin’ cute you are as we push you in your buggy. Sometimes you get a little fussy, because it’s warm in your seat, but you settle down after the first mile.

• We joke about how you are going to be great at hailing taxi cabs, like your Uncle Brian, and that you will be excellent at left-handed layups, because you are constantly throwing your arms up over your head. You are hilarious and you make everyone laugh. Your hands are on your face or above your face almost the whole time you are awake. You also like to sleep with one or both hands behind your head. We call this your “livin’ the dream” pose.

• You like it when your Dad swaddles you. He gets his Charlie Bug nice and snug. Mom, on the other hand, is a terrible swaddler. When she swaddles you, it’s like having your burrito falls apart mid-meal at Chipotle. Horrible experience.

• You like bath time, but only if Mommy places a warm washcloth on your belly during the bath and if Daddy is there to wrap you up in a towel with his big strong arms. And after your bath if finished, Mommy and Daddy spend the rest of the night sniffing your head. Sorry if that weirds you out, but golly you smell good! We’re so thankful that you are ours.

Charlotte Mae Stewart

Our precious girl arrived July 19th at 11:20 p.m.

Weight: 7 lbs 6 oz

Length: 18.5 inches

"Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart."

Psalm 37:4

Baby Update {40+ Weeks}

So, I've kind of been a big bundle of emotional dynamite since Tuesday came and went with no signs of sweet babe's arrival. Good thing I have such an amazing husband. He's had normal ole' Margo for the past eight months, but then psycho, plump, pain in the (sensor) Margo made an appearance four weeks ago. Tyler has managed to love me despite my marathon pity party that begins the moment I enter the fourth floor elevator after each Tuesday afternoon doctor's appointment. He loves me even though I built a replica of The Great Wall of China out of pillows straight down the middle of our double bed. And I think what he loves the most is to hear me whine about all of the comments I've been getting from people - "You know, Margo, that baby will come out if you just eat cornflakes for breakfast, take a hot shower at nine, go for a two mile walk, eat a bologna sandwich, watch The Three Amigos, do a back flip, go for another two mile walk, but this time walk backwards, eat some shrimp alfredo and have tons and tons of sex."

I'm so blessed to have a have a husband who loves me through all of my emotional ups and downs.

It's Vacation Bible School week at church, so I've spent every afternoon and night this week at work watching four months of preparation unfold into a smooth operating program for three-year-olds through fifth graders. We have 400 kids in our building each night, learning all about how God is WILD for them. It's been so exciting to see all of their energy each night, but it leaves me one tired momma. Since I've been at the church a lot in the evenings, Tyler and I spent the morning together. Here are some photos of our day:

Fixing to go to the mall to look for some new sneakers and then go to lunch.

My hospital bag is all packed and ready to go. Callie the Cat thinks she is going too. Silly cat.

Here is Tyler and his brand new left shoe!

The first tomato of the season is here! What it lacks in size, it makes up in taste.

July the Twelfth

{Sweet Babe, today is July the twelfth - the day we've been looking forward to for weeks and weeks. Your daddy and I can't wait to hold you in our arms, admire your round face, kiss your sweet cheeks and breath in your new baby scent. We can't wait to swaddle you in the blanket that your granny handmade and announce your arrival to your family that are waiting anxiously by the telephone. We can't wait to take you home to our little house with the red door and show you the room we prepared just for you. If you decide not to arrive today, don't worry.We know that you will come out at the perfect moment. Until then, we pray God will continue to grow you healthy and strong.}

17 weeks

23 weeks

25 weeks

28 weeks

31 weeks

33 weeks

35 weeks

37 weeks

39 weeks

Baby Update {37 1/2 Weeks}

This pregnancy has gone by so fast. Thankfully, I haven't really had to change my lifestyle that much over the past eight months. You know, except cut back on all the hard liquor. I've been nice and healthy, with the occasional bought of exhaustion or acid indigestion. The heart burn actually stopped a couple weeks ago and let me tell you, it has been awesome! I find myself eating a lot more, because I know I won't have that huge ball of burning food-fire in my throat and chest for hours after eating. Monday, the doctor said baby girl is head down and that she has dropped lower. Now it's just up to her to decide when she wants to make her escape. I'm getting a little anxious about the whole birthing process, but those thoughts get pushed aside when I think of how incredibly excited Tyler and I both are to meet little muffin. Everything is ready to go at home and things are all organized for my maternity leave at work. I'm kind of just in this weird in between stage, where everything is calm and quiet as we wait for baby girl to arrive.

I know all of you mothers out there are going to laugh out loud about what I'm getting ready to say, but I have never been so excited to feel that wave of aching pain in my back and lower abdomen and pressure in my pelvis! Bring it on!!! The other night, just as I was falling asleep (the first of many attempts to go back to sleep that night), I felt a terrible cramp. I immediately woke up, my heart pounding as I waited for the next one to come! It never did. In fact, I'm pretty sure I made the whole thing up. Ridiculous.

So, when I said that this pregnancy has gone by fast, I should have clarified - the first thirty-five weeks went by fast, but the past two weeks have gone by slower than molasses on a cold day.

At my doctor's visit two weeks ago, one of the new midwives, whom I hadn't met before my appointment that day, told me, "you know, most first time moms go one week over their due date." Immediately after she said that, I imagined myself punching her in the face.

How can I possibly wait more than two weeks to meet her?

Nursery Sneak Peek

Time for a quick peek into little Baby Stewart's room! It's about 95% complete. If she would just get here already, it would be 100% complete, but since I peak in her room about 5,000 times a day, I always find something to change. But everything is pretty well arranged at this point.

Here is her sweet little crib with the counting bird garland I made out of rick-rack. The crib, mattress and clock are all from IKEA. The bird cards are from Land of Nod. The diaper genie was a shower gift. And the rug is from Target, or Tarjay Boutique as we call it at my house, purchased for 25% off! The nursery walls look gray in this picture, but they're actually a really pale turquoise color - Benjamin Moore's Crystalline in zero-VOC, eggshell finish, paint.

Here's a close up of the garland hanging above her crib. Maybe little muffin will like birds as much as her mom and granny do?

This is the opposite corner of the crib. The white sailcloth curtains are from Target. The basket and rocker are both from my Target baby registry (thank you, family). I got the petite square side table from Hobby Lobby with a birthday gift card from my mom. It was marked 70% off - woohoo! The lamp is from Walmart. I ditched the white shade the lamp came with and purchased a red drum shade (also from Walmart) to accent my rug. The sweet quilted pillow is from a lady at Tyler and my old church in Dederick, MO. Her name is Muriel and she makes the most delightful crafts and candles! The wall shelves are picture ledges that we purchased from IKEA. I've been collecting the books over time - some are from my childhood, some were shower gifts and some I bought for a steal on Amazon. 

Isn't this print the cutest? It's from one of my Etsy favorites - trafalgarssquare.

A peek inside her basket - lots of blankets and stuffed animals.

 New knobs from Hobby Lobby. They are very Anthropologie-esque, but lessthan half the price.

 Little dresses - washed and ready.

 Here is the changing table, purchased from Target.com. The baskets are from Target too (imagine that)! I went with pretty baskets, because I LOVE baskets. We can use them in little one's room as she grows, or we can use them to corral different items in any of the other rooms in our house. Right now, they hold diapers, wipes, Desitin and some different bath items. The paper chain was given to me by some of my favorite women in Champaign, IL. Each link has a handwritten prayer for our little family on it. It is one of the most special things about this room.

In the frame is a mother's prayer that my mother-in-law gave me. I'm going to pray different lines of it as I wipe that precious fanny throughout the day.

Close up of the prayer chain.

Nesting

I just washed the teeny tinniest, most adorable sock in my washer.

Baby Update {30 Weeks}

• Every morning, around 6:00 a.m., little muffin has a dance party. I think her favorite dance moves are the macarena and any kind of line dancing (boot-scoot-boogie, electric slide, etc.) Hopefully she will be as smooth as her daddy on the dance floor.

• Sometimes, I get this crazy acid reflux. Like, I'm pretty sure there is a ball of fire in my throat. 

• I've got sleeping down to a science! After several nights of discomfort, I have finally figured out the most comfortable sleep position. If you stick a standard sized pillow between your legs and then have the top tip of the pillow go slightly underneath your belly, you are in good shape! The only trouble happens when you decide to roll over in your sleep and are either awaken because you rolled onto your back and your spine is being crushed by a bowling ball. Or you wake up because you are now treating your spouse as the pillow you once had perfectly situated. Tyler and I have a full size bed and, while neither of us are large people, a full size bed is teeny-tiny when you are growing a human in your belly. Every time I complain about not sleeping well, Tyler reminds me of that day, long ago, when we were in Hank's Furniture shopping for our mattress. It was three months before our marriage and Tyler was sleeping on the floor of our studio apartment. My parents gave us a handful of cash to purchase a bed as a wedding gift, so we were at Hank's trying to score the best deal. My logic was, "Hey, let's buy a full size bed since it's the cheapest and then we can save the money we have left to put towards a kitchen table." I recall Tyler agreeing with the saving money part, but he insists that this is a false memory and that he fought to buy the queen bed. Nevertheless, we are still proud owners of a full size bed. Sorry Ty.  

• The nursery is coming right along. My mother-in-law, grammy and mom purchased the glider from my registry and it arrived in a huge box a few weeks back. It is white wood with a beautiful butter yellow cushion and footstool. Just this weekend, I just purchased a rug I had been eying at Target with some birthday money and a gift card. It is gorgeous and is truly the focal point of the entire room. Now I just have to narrow down all the beautiful artwork I have saved on my Etsy wishlist to a few pieces that I want to hang in Baby Girl's room. When Casie and I went to IKEA back in January, I got these really cool picture ledges that I'm hoping to put interchangeable artwork, children's books and photographs.  Ty is going to help me hang the shelves once he is finished with this semesters' school work. And I got the cutest little square end table from Hobby Lobby that was marked down to $20. I had a $50 gift card that my momma gave me for my birthday, so the table was free. Holla!

• My appetite is increasing and my stomach capacity is decreasing. After supper, it sometimes feels like I am gasping for air. I keep taking these deep breaths and making these loud sighing noises, which is usually what I do when I am feeling frustrated or overwhelmed. The other night while we were sitting on the couch watching a movie, Tyler looked over at me and said, "Is everything okay? Are you upset?" I replied, "Nope. Just trying to breathe." My torso is shrinking into oblivion. No lie.

• I am getting more and more excited about meeting her. I can't wait to see what she looks like. Will she have her daddy's auburn hair? Will she have my big brown eyes?

Monday's Most Wanted

These sweet prints from Trafalgar's Square on etsy:

Don't you think they would look good in our little girl's nursery?

Happy Valentine's Day

Baby Girl at 19 weeks old.

18 Weeks and Counting

This is me reenacting how surprised I was when I came home and saw that Tyler had built the crib.

We are making progress! We painted the room and Tyler assembled the crib the other day while I was at work ::squeal of excitement:: After many failed gray attempts, we went with a soft teal color for the walls - Benjamin Moore's Crystalline AF-485 in their Natura zero VOC paint.And the crib is from IKEA. I love how simple and petite it is. It is perfect for the small bedroom.

Okay, I know you may all think that I'm getting a little ahead of myself. I know that I've still got 5 months until little muffin comes, but, people, you've got to understand my circumstances. 

 

First off, it's like negative 70 degrees outside for the entire month of January and February 'round these parts and I've got to find something to do to keep myself busy. That is why I spend my weekends looking at magazines, browsing Target and IKEA websites, shopping for junk at the Habitat for Humanity Restore so that I can upcycle it into something lovely. I had to start this baby room project while the weather is awful out so that when spring finally gets here, I will have time to build my garden (and by "build," I mean shout commands at Tyler like, "dig here" and "plant there" while I lounge in my plastic adirondack chair and use my growing belly as a tabletop for my ice cold lemonade). 

 

Another reason why we have to get crack-a-lackin' on baby room is because Tyler is a hard workin' man! He works 45+ hours a week at the church and, at the same time, is taking a full load of masters courses this semester. It's not like he's just sitting around on the weekends waiting for his sweet wife to hand him a container of spackle and an electric sander. He's got homework to do and the last thing he needs is to jam pack a bunch of work into his one day a week of study time. So he is committing a few weekends this spring to help me prepare for little Stewart.

 

And remember this post when I poured out my soul and told you my desire to control things? I know I can't control everything, but it sure does help me function at "100% Margo" if my house is in order. Call me crazy, but one of the ways I can prepare emotionally for baby is to tangibly prepare for his/her arrival.

I just cannot wait to hold little one. So until then, I am okay with spending my Saturday mornings praying for baby while I bake blueberry muffins. It feels so magical to walk into the bedroom and try and picture a small baby swaddled up and sleeping in the crib. It makes me so happy to crack open the door and look beyond the construction zone as I imagine myself rocking baby to sleep each night.

Angels We Have Heard on High

The angel went to her and said, "Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you." Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. But the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God." Luke 1:28-30

I bet that Mary was "greatly troubled" because there was a shiny glowy man that flew into her bedroom and woke her right in the middle of her REM sleep. If this angel looked anything like the angel that appeared to the shepherds later on in the birth narrative, Mary probably got the ba-jeebers scared out of her, because Luke 2:9 says that the shepherds were terrified at the sight of the angel that spoke to them. 

Now, I know peeing on a piece of plastic is not exactly the same as having a glowy flying guy come tell you that you are going to have a baby, but when that perpendicular line showed up in that little window...I felt so many emotions. 

Joy.

Excitement.

Disbelief.

Scared-out-of-my-mind-ness.

In my first few weeks, my thoughts were ruled by fear. I was scared that something could go wrong with the pregnancy and I was frightened about all the financial details we were going to have to work out and I was nervous about figuring out my work schedule and I was fearful of starting a family with my own family living so far away.


I think I was scared, because I really enjoy having control. I control what I wear, what I cook for dinner, how I organize my house, and (up to just a few months ago) I controlled my fertility. But with this incredible miracle growing inside of me, I felt completely out of control.


I can't even imagine how Mary felt. Whether she wanted to or not, God chose her to give birth to the Savior of the world. I seriously doubt that she was thrilled when she found out this news. How on earth would she explain this news to her mom and dad? And what would the young carpenter she was dating think? Would he believe her? Her life was now out of control. 


And yet she responds to the angel by saying, "I am the Lord's servant. May it be to me as you have said."


Father, forgive me for my distrust. Let my prayer be like Mary's. Make me a servant.