The angel went to her and said, "Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you." Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. But the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God." Luke 1:28-30
I bet that Mary was "greatly troubled" because there was a shiny glowy man that flew into her bedroom and woke her right in the middle of her REM sleep. If this angel looked anything like the angel that appeared to the shepherds later on in the birth narrative, Mary probably got the ba-jeebers scared out of her, because Luke 2:9 says that the shepherds were terrified at the sight of the angel that spoke to them.
Now, I know peeing on a piece of plastic is not exactly the same as having a glowy flying guy come tell you that you are going to have a baby, but when that perpendicular line showed up in that little window...I felt so many emotions.
Joy.
Excitement.
Disbelief.
Scared-out-of-my-mind-ness.
In my first few weeks, my thoughts were ruled by fear. I was scared that something could go wrong with the pregnancy and I was frightened about all the financial details we were going to have to work out and I was nervous about figuring out my work schedule and I was fearful of starting a family with my own family living so far away.
I think I was scared, because I really enjoy having control. I control what I wear, what I cook for dinner, how I organize my house, and (up to just a few months ago) I controlled my fertility. But with this incredible miracle growing inside of me, I felt completely out of control.
I can't even imagine how Mary felt. Whether she wanted to or not, God chose her to give birth to the Savior of the world. I seriously doubt that she was thrilled when she found out this news. How on earth would she explain this news to her mom and dad? And what would the young carpenter she was dating think? Would he believe her? Her life was now out of control.
And yet she responds to the angel by saying, "I am the Lord's servant. May it be to me as you have said."
Father, forgive me for my distrust. Let my prayer be like Mary's. Make me a servant.
I think I was scared, because I really enjoy having control. I control what I wear, what I cook for dinner, how I organize my house, and (up to just a few months ago) I controlled my fertility. But with this incredible miracle growing inside of me, I felt completely out of control.
I can't even imagine how Mary felt. Whether she wanted to or not, God chose her to give birth to the Savior of the world. I seriously doubt that she was thrilled when she found out this news. How on earth would she explain this news to her mom and dad? And what would the young carpenter she was dating think? Would he believe her? Her life was now out of control.
And yet she responds to the angel by saying, "I am the Lord's servant. May it be to me as you have said."
Father, forgive me for my distrust. Let my prayer be like Mary's. Make me a servant.
1 comment:
Motherhood has been the greatest lesson of faith in my life to date. There is something so empowering and simultaneously humbling about the process by which we become a parents. I am so excited that you and Ty are starting that journey.
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